Having been referred by my GP in the latter part of last year, last week finally saw my appointment with the neuro-psychologist to see what the NHS could offer in terms of dyspraxia. Although I'd been advised not to expect anything, I nevertheless went with my usually buoyant attitude towards the whole proceedings.
As it turned out, I had a rather dyspraxic day before I'd even met the psychologist. I firstly dropped my change when trying to pay the bus driver. Later in the waiting room I had to move I couldn't stand the proximity to other people there. Finally the psychologist greeted me indicated I was to go into a room, but I failed to read which one, and I nearly went into the wrong consulting room until the people in the room indicated with expressive finger pointing that I should actually be next door. I had taken a list of what I wanted to ask and raise as I knew my memory wouldn't be up to the task, and indeed it wasn't. Despite all this, things did not go my way.
One thing about using the NHS if you're not used to the way it works is that everything happens so very slowly. Aside from having to wait months for this appointment, on the day I had to wait the best part of an hour beyond the stated appointment time before being seen. It turned out the psychologist in question had two people's work dumped upon him, leading to him seeing me for a few moments, and then disappearing next door for quite some time before returning again and continuing. I suppose if you're ill, then you're probably happy enough not to have everything happening at breakneck speed, however when you're fit, but wanting to get some information about an ongoing condition it does become something of a frustation.
In any case bear it I did. The consultation essentially involved the psychologist asking for the details of my concern, and asked if I was on a anxious nature. I said I didn't know, as after all it's something you have to use other people as a benchmark for. He said he'd conduct some tests, but didn't expect to find anything abnormal. The tests involved basic reflex, eye movement and hand-eye co-ordination through mimicing the hand movement he made. Indeed these were found not to be abnormal.
I was hoping for the possibility of an assessment for dyspraxia. Testing reflex is all well and good, and maybe with someone with an extreme neurological condition it may be telling, but for me of far more conclusive use would be something that tested short-term memory, balance, and other such dyspraxic traits.
On my use of the word 'dyspraxia' the psychologist said he didn't like affixing labels. I can understand it from the point of view that lots of parents seem to be looking for a label for the children to have, but I wasn't doing that at all. Although he didn't say that I didn't have dyspraxia, he said I was neurologically 'normal' whatever that means, but that he understood that I would like to understand better my type of normality. I think essentially speaking something such as dyspraxia doesn't really measure on the NHS's neurological radar. Certainly the leaflets in the waiting room of the section of the hospital indicated that MS was more their thing.
To be honest I don't have much doubt about being dyspraxic. I was diagnosed with clumsy child syndrome at primary school and I was more or less unique in my year at school in failing to exhibit any sort of ability for any activities in PE lessons. This I suspect was somewhat overlooked at the time as I was overweight, however my ability to throw and undertake other sporting activities has certainly not improved. The reason then, that I waited for this referral was for the hope of an assessment on the NHS. Although the neuro-psychologist said he could refer me to a neuro-psychologist (this bemused me I must say) for what I assume would eventually be an assessment, the waiting list was in the order of 6 - 12 months, and after that day's less than conclusive and satisfactory encounter I decided to take up the psychologists offer on being referred via my GP for a private assessment. Although it will cost a few hundred quid, I should at least get what I'm after and in a reasonable timescale.
Although I'm not rushed for an assessment, I was generally disappointed at how the consultation panned out. I had hoped that something would come from it, something positive, but it was not to be. That said I'm not down-hearted from the experience. What I had been told prior to the consultation proved entirely correct. For something such as dyspraxia (as as far as I can gather for other ND disorders too) if you want something such as an assessment and you're not in education where these sort of things are a lot more forthcoming, it's alas the case that you have to reach into your pocket and take things privately. Now I know, and that's the path I will be taking.
